Saturday, February 27, 2016

Breaking News: Seven Things You'll See in Pokemon Sun and Moon!

Yesterday, legions of Pokemon fans the world over tuned in to a special Nintendo Direct devoted to Pokemon; featuring the announcement of Pokemon Sun and Moon...and were soon disappointed that very little was actually revealed about Pokemon Sun and Moon.  Little more was shown in the revelation than that the game seems to feature trucks with Pokemon riding in them, which to be fair, is pretty awesome.

Still, for people who want more, they've got it in the form of key info leaked onto the website Game An' Love, which claims to have a man on the inside who came through with exciting tidbits of information.  While all of this has not yet been confirmed, we at Entertainment Examiner have determined it is all likely true.  So with that in mind, here are what Game An' Love announced as Seven things you'll see in Pokemon Sun and Moon Version:

1) A professor.  Fans can look forward to a brand new story that begins with them meeting a professor who has a lab in their hometown.  This professor will introduce them to the wonderful world of Pokemon, and a grand adventure begins!

2) A Fire-Type, Water-Type and Grass-Type Starter.  Within the professor's lab are three potential Pokemon companions you can choose from, which will grow and even evolve as you battle with them!  Enjoy the ensuing teamwork and learn valuable lessons about friendship!

3) Eight Gym Leaders. Throughout the game world will be cities and towns, and between them a total of eight gyms will be scattered.  These gyms are led by trainers called gym leaders, and they serve an important role in the game's story: When you enter the gyms, you can challenge them to Pokemon battles, and if you win the battles, you will earn badges!  Collect all eight to proceed!  At least one gym leader has been confirmed to be fanart and masturbation fuel!

4) The Elite Four.  These are four of the most skilled Pokemon trainers in the region, and anyone who defeats them all will be crowned the region champion, so train hard!

5) An Evil Team.  While details are scarce at this point, it has been confirmed that an evil team will be causing trouble in the region, and their name starts with the word, "Team".

6) Plenty of New Pokemon to Collect.  Will you be able to catch 'em all this time?!  Have you caught 'em all in the last times yet?!  Will you lose interest before you can catch 'em all this time?!  Buy the game to find out!

7) A New Season of the Anime, Featuring Ash Ketchum Losing The Championship and Not Aging.  The Pokemon Company is planning to pull out all the stops promoting these new versions of the game with an anime adaptation that doesn't star the actual protagonists of the games!  Join Ash Ketchum as he moves on from his old Pokemon and friends in an attempt to conquer the new region with a self-imposed handicap!  Those of you who liked Clemont, Bonnie, etc, and are sad to see them go, can go off in the corner and cry with the butthurt old coots who miss Misty, Brock, Tracey, May, Max, Dawn, Iris and Cilan!  Okay; there's probably not anybody there who misses Tracey or Cilan, but beat it anyway!  As fans, you owe it to yourself to make room for kids who don't know any better!

Conclusion: We want to stress again that these announcements have not been officially confirmed by Nintendo, the Pokemon Company, Game Freak, Creatures Inc, or Wizards of the Coast, but we expect they will be.  We've never had any reason to doubt the integrity of www.gameanlove.fu in the past, so we say it's time to get the hype train rolling!  Pikachoo-choo, Pokefans!


  1. Wowee-zowee! This is groundbreaking stuff!

    1. About-damn-time Pokemon had groundbreaking stuff in it!